Bad Cantaloupes; Kutcher's Two and Half Men, Two and Half Stars; and Jersey Shore Ousted

Reports from around the bend.

Tainted Melons

As many as 16 people have died and 73 people have become ill from a listeria outbreak traced to contaminated cantaloupes. It is said to be the deadliest food outbreak in years, though listeria has killed plenty of people in the past, being more deadly than salmonella and E. Coli.

Melons are one of the most dangerous foods when it comes to contamination. You have to scrub the rind heartily, peel it off and then cut the fruit. If you cut straight in, you drag all the cooties straight into the fruit.

Two and a Half Suck

Ashton Kutcher and Two and a Half Men arecatching heat for stickers displayed prominentlyon his laptop during a recent airing of the show.

The show should catch heat for stealing half hours of people's time every time it's on.

A Bum Bum

Reebok is paying out $25 million dollars to settle claims from consumers that allege the shoes do not actually tone one's bum as advertised.

People do realize that you actually have to wear the shoes while you exercise and not while eating chips watching DirectTV On Demand for them to work, right?

Cooking Up a Race War

The University of California at Berkeley is catching flack for having a racially driven bake sale. You pay $2 each for white customers, $1.50 for buyers of Asian descent, $1 for Latinos, 75 cents for black customers and 25 cents for American Indians. All women get a 25 cent discount.

This is supposed to be some kind of protest, but it would really be fantastic if we could STOP FOCUSING ON RACE and eat a baked good in harmony.

Jersey Bore

The Governor of New Jersey is vetoing a bill that would afford a $420,000 film tax credit to The Jersey Shore, stating he would rather spend the money on “projects that actually benefit the state.”

Kudos to someone at least for not giving into this INCREDIBLY racist and stupid show that continues to perpetuate stereotypes of Italian Americans as shallow, uneducated train wrecks who can't use grammar or common sense. Ugh, why is this show still on?


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