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What's Your Take on the Mommy Wars?

Why are some moms so mean to each other?

After 16 months of being a mom, I've realized that some moms can be mean, especially online. With so many parenting choices to be made, there are many debates and disagreements. Here's a sampling of what I've encountered so far:

  • Working mom vs. stay at home mom vs. work at home mom
  • Daycare center vs. home daycare vs. nanny vs. family member
  • Breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding vs. a combination
  • Disposable diapers vs. cloth diapers vs. elimination communication
  • Crib vs. family bed
  • Vaccination vs. no vaccination vs. delayed vaccination
  • Public school vs. private school vs. homeschooling vs. unschooling
  • Helicopter parenting vs. free-range kids

Discussions on these topics can get pretty heated. I personally put a lot of thought into some of my choices (breastfeeding), turned to others as survival strategies (family bed) and had no choice in others (I have to work). Plus I think most of us may see ourselves on both sides of the argument, or somewhere in the middle, throughout our lifetimes as parents.

Are these hot topics because moms feel passionate about their parenting choices or do they feel insecure? Or are some moms just plain old mean? I've often heard that motherhood is both the toughest and most rewarding job in the world. Shouldn't we all be supportive and cheer each other on? Aren't our different choices what make us interesting?

Candi July 14, 2011 at 08:32 PM
The debate over whether mothers should work is an emotionally-charged debate that has left mothers on both sides of the aisle feeling judged and undervalued. As more and more women become working mothers, the debate intensifies. In 1965, 33% of moms worked outside the home. Now, 71% of moms work outside the home. Now, more than ever, we, as women, need to come together, to reinforce our right to make the choice that’s right for our families, and to reinforce the rights of others to do likewise (even if that choice differs from our own). Let us acknowledge that there is no “right” or “wrong” answer here, and that difficult decisions are made more difficult when criticized by others. Some moms prefer to stay at home. Some moms prefer to work outside the home. Children tend to thrive in happy environments. Thus, there is a potential advantage to the children if mom works outside the home . . . if... http://tinyurl.com/ye2tyy4

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